So I was talking to my friend the other day about how boring our e-mail addresses are. I’m not sure if you, dear readers, agree, but as a young adult, I feel like all email addresses have become the same:

[first name][last name]@[gmail or msn].com

Super dull, right? Right.

But do you remember the good ole pre-teen days when you made your first e-mail address and it included whatever letters and numbers you damn well pleased, no matter how nonsensical they were? I began to miss that era.

Disappointed and vaguely depressed that I succumbed to the social pressures of having a normal and somewhat professional e-mail address for things like “job applications” (whatever), I decided to eat a tube of cookie dough and mosey on down memory lane. In this magical land, I made a discovery:

There are two kinds of pre/early teen e-mail addresses. 1) The emo “I’m too mature for my own good. I mean, look, I’m artsy and cynical already,” ones and 2) the “If I misspell words and put my birthdate at the end, that makes me cool, right?” ones.

It. Is. GLORIOUS.

So here are some real life examples of old e-mail addresses my friends shared with me:

CATEGORY 1:

tearsofwisdom@aol.com (Remember back in the day when aol was the forefront of technology and oh so cool? Also, I wonder how many wise tears were shed before this address was picked.)

rainbowsfade@yahoo.com (It’s almost poetic…almost.)

bornonajourney@comcast.net (This was actually created with the intention of sounding pretentious. Could you have guessed?)

CATEGORY 2:

moviegurl413@hotmail.com (This may or may not have been my own personal e-mail address, but “gurl” was definitely spelled with a “u”.)

gategrrl88@aol.com (In reference to getting into the middle school “Gifted And Talented Education” aka “GATE” program…a surefire shot to popularity right here.)

flameboy612@earthlink.com (Yes, this really existed. Life just got that much better.)

superfly2714@earthlink.com (This was actually made as a “less lame” replacement for the previous e-mail address… Success?)

My quality of life dramatically increased from learning of these epic e-mail addresses. It can only get better if you comment with lame old ones of your very own.