So during Astronomy class the other day, I started thinking. Not about Astronomy, of course. Yuck. (No offense to all you astronomers out there.) But about a new way to look at history. What if the past, all the conquering and exploring, wars and treaties, had been decided the way drunk frat guys do things at a party…

That’s how I came up with the idea of this comic:

It’s funny to think of history that way. I mean, obviously Alexander the “Great” was just AMAZING at dibs! Lewis and Clark probably tied for last in a nose call, which led to them being forced to trek across uncharted territory, take notes, and probably die in the process. And do you REALLY think Alexander Hamilton had anything to do with Jefferson winning the Presidential Election of 1800? Hell no! Here’s how I think it went down:

Jefferson and Burr: Dibs on the Presidency!
Jefferson: Jinx!
Burr: Ji– crap!
Jefferson: No no, you can’t speak til I say your name 3 times!
Burr: [Stony silence]
Jefferson: …also, I totally win the Presidency.

This MAY not be wholly accurate, but it does make history a bit more fun. What do you think? Got any historical events you could retell using my method? Then hot damn, comment here!